An open letter to this society ” Apne yahan aisa he hota h beta “


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To, The great Indian Society aka Samaj I really wonder what kind of society, What kind of world we live in ? Seriously I am not a prude but we are actually a bunch of Hippocrates . In our society, in our so-called “Samaj” we are not being taught what is right and what is wrong rather what should happen and what shouldn’t ? Hume, ye nhi si khaya jata that sahi kya h, galat kya h balki kya hona chahiye kya nhi? If you ask a reason behind a certain issue you are being told This is the way things happen in our society , not why should these things happen ? “Humare yahan aisa hi hota h”. There are apparently different sets of rule for everyone. Things which are right for your daughter turns wrong for your daughter in law. Your daughter, your son can sleep till late but your so called bahu should wake up early why ? Kyon ki aisa he hota h, no justification. Your daughter can wear whatever she wants but not your bahu. Why ? Kyonki aisa he hota h. If the girl’s parents suggest anything or even complain about the atrocities their daughter is facing, they are interfering in their personal life but if the boy’s parents are so called advising then they are guiding them. lol! After all, it is only their son who got married not someone else’s daughter. Nevertheless, why is this so ? Because of “Aisa, he hota h”. In our society love is right but love marriage is wrong. Even most of the well educated married ladies say stupid things such as “If there would be no difference between our own home and in-laws house then what is the meaning of your “Sasuraal” ? Is Sasural / In-laws house supposed to be a hostel? In the first place, why is there a need of difference between both ? You can’t even take most personal decisions of your life by yourself like when to have a baby? In many instances  I have seen in-laws warn their daughter in laws that we are giving you one year. After that, we won’t allow you to remain without a child. You will have to bear us a grandchild after that. Pathetic ! Now we are at the discretion of our in-laws that when are we gonna become parents ? Even This is not our right? ? I feel we Indians have got few goals in life. First of all to get married. Until you are not married everyone will be like “get married”,” get married” and then after marriage when are you giving good news ? Once you have your first baby then they would be like when are you bringing the brother and sister for your existing child into the world ? Are these the aim of our lives ?? And the most terrible fact is even if you try to change their thinking no one will support you. People, will advise you to be meek and say what can you do alone ? “Apne yaha to aisa he hota h”. If our elders have made some rules and regulations to kuch soch samjh ke bnae honge ? There would have been a good reason behind that but what reason? No one is bothered to know.Why ? Because “apne yahan to aisa he hota h”. Things which are our rights are being offered to us as an exemption to us.We are letting you work even after marriage , We are letting you wear western clothes even after marriage. I mean Excuse me , Who are you to allow me? There is a constant insecurity surrounding the parents of a son ” Kahin ye mere bete ko apne kabu me na kar le ” I don’t get it when will our parents realize that their son is married now. His wife has equal rights on him now along with them. It is husband and wife together who take a family forward. Even the creator of our world lord shiva was also “Ardhnarishwar”. An integration of both men and women . When will they realize its time to let their son go . He has also started his life . He is your son and will remain one but that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t give priority to his wife . You can’t always keep him as your son only and if this was the case, If you wanted your son to be your son only and not someone’s companion then you shouldn’t have got married him in the first place. That would have been better. This way he would have remained exclusively all rights reserved son. Heights of absurdness ! Apne yaha aisa he hota h and hota rahega . Even the well-educated generation is nowhere behind in supporting such atrocities. Yes ! these are atrocities only. Depriving someone of their basic right to live according to his/her own wish . Even our constitution doesn’t allow this . I wish everyone awakes and instead of saying aisa he hota h asks Aisa kyon hota h? Kya galat h kya sahi .What is right is right , Chahe vo hota ho ya nhi and what is wrong is wrong chahe vo hota rahe . But until then “APNE YAHAN AISA HE HOTA H-BETA “.   Sincerely A frustrated Indian Bahu Someone who belongs to a small town, The real India, Who sees such kind of things happening all the time and in every other household irrespective of being rich or poor , educated or uneducated but can not gain enough strength to protest against these so expressing her feelings via this forum.


  • blank Chitra Banerjee says:

    Yes you are very correct I think the same way why this discrimination my daughter faced the same problem
    The daughters never went to visit their in-laws
    Now it goes on n on its happening again

  • This is a story of 90 percent of Indian household. Girls suffer the most! 🙁

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